part 28 do you think that it is possible for someone who is openly homosexual to be a extremist republican? I imagine their lives would be very difficult.

Mon, 20 May 2013 14:27:22 -0400

I think it’s possible. Like you said, though, I think it would be difficult. There are a lot of people who are just living contradictions if you take what they are and believe in, but that isn’t necessarily a bad thing. Sure, you might look at them and think they’re living on two opposite extremes, but it doesn’t mean they live up to the stereotypes of each, you know? They could, but they might have different views on certain things. I do see some groups that you may think would be for one thing, but then almost preach against themselves. Especially when it comes to political issues, you see people you would deem to be “open minded” but then they are republican or part of a party you see as oppressing said group. I think if someone was openly homosexual they might get some flack from their fellow republicans, but they may still hold the same values. It’s not something I would expect, but it exists.

"I am alone in a hostile world."

Mon, 20 May 2013 01:10:27 -0400

“I am alone in a hostile world.”

- Virginia Woolf, from The Waves (via violentwavesofemotion)

Thank you for your reply :). Truth is, I don't even remember where I was standing before. Sometimes I think this lie is all I know now. All I ever wanted is now either shattered or lost. I feel I'm slowly getting into this moment of my life where all I want it to stop. I'm afraid if I do, It would consume me. I want to drift apart with everything. I just feel like, if I do this, I would deprive them from their smile, you know?. I think i became a big mess of a soul. Nobody sees it, but me.

Mon, 20 May 2013 01:06:25 -0400

I think I know that feeling. For the most part I just want to drift away from everything but I fear the consequences. How that might affect others. I don’t think highly enough of myself as to think that people need me, but that still crosses my mind when I wish away everyone. Do you think there’s a way you could find a balance between the two… hmmm if you find you’re a mess, then you need to concern yourself with, well, yourself first, no? It’s hard to be there for others or even be present when you find yourself shattered. When you think that pieces of you are gone and you’re just one giant wreck, it’s difficult to do anything. Focusing on yourself is not selfish, as the word may have you believe. In the end, who else is there besides you? You’re always going to be there and how can you look toward anything else if you feel you’re in disarray?

how do you feel about yahoo being poised to purchase tumblr?

Mon, 20 May 2013 00:50:38 -0400

I’m fine with it unless they decide to change things drastically.

“To judge a man by his weakest link or deed is like judging the...

Sun, 19 May 2013 19:29:58 -0400

“To judge a man by his weakest link or deed is like judging the power of the ocean by one wave.”

If you’re detached, you can be anyone because nothing is out there. If you’re open,...

Sun, 19 May 2013 19:29:28 -0400

If you’re detached, you can be anyone because nothing is out there. If you’re open, everything about you becomes so real and suddenly you’re someone. And that’s scary.

Photo

Sun, 19 May 2013 19:20:43 -0400

vipertoothe: spring in japan

Sun, 19 May 2013 19:18:21 -0400

vipertoothe:

spring in japan

I just felt like I'm living a lie. Or I just felt like I'm a lie. Everywhere. I smile at teachers, at classmates when they talk to me. I smile at my mom, at my lover. Me studying engineering is a lie too. I don't even know if it's made for me but I smile and mom smiles because she's proud. And teachers smile because I go to their classes. And classmates smile because I lend them by notes, my lover smile because he's proud as well. While I smile because of nothing, but I let myself cry too.

Sun, 19 May 2013 19:17:37 -0400

Why continue lying, then? You don’t have to continue feeling like your very being is a lie if you don’t want to. Sure, you may see people around you benefiting from that lie, but why live your life unhappily just to serve others? I don’t think that’s fair. For anyone, really. You don’t have to smile if you’re not happy and you don’t have to do things that you don’t want to. Do you think it would be possible for you to walk out of this lie you feel you live? To turn it around and act as you feel? Maybe you started lying in the first place to escape something and maybe it wouldn’t be okay to go back to that. But I don’t know if it’s too late to stop.

Where did you get the skin for your scm player?

Sun, 19 May 2013 19:07:59 -0400

I made it.

I'm not sure why, but it's more comfortable and fitting to see it at night... might have to do with your blog color. Maybe if it was white or light grey I could look at it in the morningtime as well. But it's very nightlike.

Sun, 19 May 2013 13:25:56 -0400

I usually prefer a light background, but I find it harder to read any text with stark white staring at you the whole time. So I usually prefer having it black. But i change that sometimes. It is nightlike, I like that.

Photo

Sat, 18 May 2013 23:42:43 -0400

You are truly amazing Cameron. What I seek when I'm messaging someone is that the person cares enough to analyze and think about my message. Although we're strangers I feel there's nothing wrong with that. We can be close yet so far apart. I find being too close to someone hurts me eventually so I think this type of relationship works the best with clingy sort of people like me.

Sat, 18 May 2013 23:40:53 -0400

I think it works well this way as well. I somehow find it a bit more difficult to talk to someone who I am already personal with. Especially with telling them my opinion on something… somehow being invested in someone a great deal gets in the way for me. I’m glad you feel comfortable with me.

I wonder Cameron, how much do you really care for us followers? These anonymous strangers who voice their opinions and thoughts to you more frequently than they actually do to people they're closer to.

Sat, 18 May 2013 21:38:57 -0400

I care a lot, in a way, because I’ve always felt invisible. Not that that’s a bad thing, in fact I prefer it a lot, it’s easier that way when your only wish is to float through life. I’ve said this to a couple people, but if someone takes the time to say something to me or acknowledge me, I make a point of remembering them. Both consciously and unconsciously. It really means something to me. So if someone comes to me and tells me about their day or something important or even asks me for my opinion on something, it really amplifies that feeling. I care a lot in that way.

"Whatever comes, let it come, what stays let stay, what goes let go."

Fri, 17 May 2013 23:22:05 -0400

“Whatever comes, let it come,
what stays let stay,
what goes
let go.”

- Papaji (via ggao)

it's seriously suprising how even in the midst of talking to someone, they forget you're even there, and you wonder... why do I even care to talk to this person if they don't even care that I exist. Everyone says I'll find the one person who does care, when's that though? In the next decade or so?

Fri, 17 May 2013 23:14:45 -0400

I don’t think anyone knows when that will be. But I think you will meet that person eventually. That doesn’t really make it any easier when people dismiss you, though. It’s a bad feeling and people can just be crappy sometimes. Sometimes you have to get through those kinds of people so you can figure out what kind of person meets your needs or what you would like in a friend. There’s not really a set person out there, so you just kind of have to feel around and see what other organic matter that we call a person fits you. I hope you can find that person who you feel does care.

I find it very difficult to look at your blog, let alone read your replies, during the daytime. The best and most comfortable time to see it is late at night. Especially now with my ceiling fan on... it helps me think.

Fri, 17 May 2013 23:06:12 -0400

Is there a reason you can’t look at it during the day? Or do you just prefer to look at it at night when you can be alone and relaxed.

Photo

Thu, 16 May 2013 22:22:25 -0400

Photo

Thu, 16 May 2013 22:20:59 -0400

My friend just left.. it'd been a while since I'd seen her and this was her first time at my new place. She brought her dog too. We had a lot of fun.. goofed around, vaped, watched several youtube videos and two episodes of The Office.. I finally had her watch Avatar which I'd been wanting to happen for a while. My little brother played with her PS Vita and was engrossed with it. I had a great time. I feel content and satisfied, like when I have a full belly.

Thu, 16 May 2013 22:19:55 -0400

This sounds like it was nice. Mmm, like I said I think the last time you messaged me, it seems like those are the nicest moments. When you can just be alone with someone doing things that you like and relax.