part 34 // mail. etc.
Something inside me had dropped away, and nothing came in to fill the empty cavern. There was an abnormal lightness to my body, and sounds had a hollow echo to them.
Anonymous: Hi. May I ask what's your major? (if you are a colleage/uni student). I'm just curious. The way you reply people makes me think you may be studying psycology or st. I mean, you seem to be really nice and understanding and I wish I can be like that. I'm always confused ha ha. Anw, I hope you have a nice day.

Mmm nope. I’m actually just in college for graphic design, so nothing that dramatic. To be honest, I don’t think I’d be able to handle something like that anyway, I’m really unmotivated. I don’t really think I’m nice or understanding, I just try to be… logical haha. Whatever logical is to me, that is. Sometimes people point out that I have things ass-backwards. 

I went to the top of a high-rise hotel, entered the spacious bar, and ordered a Heineken. It took ten minutes for the beer to come. Meanwhile, I planted an elbow on the armrest of my chair, rested my head on my hand, and shut my eyes. Nothing came to mind. With my eyes closed, I could hear hundreds of elves sweeping out my head with their tiny brooms. They kept sweeping and sweeping. It never occurred to any of them to use a dustpan.

I don’t care that you got into drugs for three months straight, or how much sleep you lost in that period. I don’t care that you went home and fucked that person and woke up at 6am hating everything about yourself, or that you smoked so much you sounded as though your lungs were giving out.

You’re not a bad person for the ways you tried to kill your sadness.

You’re just human, and being human means you need to survive and you do so whichever way you deem fit, fuck everyone else.

People are just as wonderful as sunsets if you let them be. When I look at a sunset, I don’t find myself saying, “Soften the orange a bit on the right hand corner.” I don’t try to control a sunset. I watch with awe as it unfolds.
Your soul has fallen to bits and pieces. Good. Rearrange them to suit yourself.